Something has got a hold of me. It’s bigger than my words can net. I’ll try to climb to the top and find a suitable description. Should be a good traverse…
Let’s just call it for now and say that there has been a shift. I find, as I grow older and step into my adulthood more that my capacity to love has deepened. Once again, this hails in the realm of reclamation~ (see Reclaiming Romantic post) when I say love, I’m not specifically talking about with a man, but love of ALL things, large and small. However, I do believe the next time that I fall in love it will be deeper than ever before… because why else go there at this point? Obviously.
The older I become, the more I cry in the name of beauty. Yes, I’m laying it on the table. I’m not a sap, I just get choked up at the good stuff. (I am not a crier in general, with the acception of movies. (Fine, commercials too if it’s around a certain time of month.) It’s kind of wild. I teared up at the park yesterday, all by myself, because the temperature was so beautiful, and the time of dusk was a favorite of mine. It was the time when the lightening bugs would have begun to flash were we in a place that had them. It’s a peek of my childhood; running in fields, catching and releasing. Marveling. It’s amazing how deep the memory and feeling go. If I was back east I know they would have been all over that park, in between the trees, hovering about the field.
A woman was strolling while I was having my moment and I wanted to share it. Every now and then I am compelled to reach out and have a completely random exchange with a total stranger. I asked her if she was from here (Portland, Oregon) and she told me no. We got to talking and it turned out that she too was from an area where there were fireflies. There was a vacant lot full of wild flowers across from the house where she grew up. We talked about the sweetness of them, and then the conversation shifted to bees. It was lovely. It was such a special, simple, and fluid talk. It was one of those things that was so fulfilling because of it’s true and pure nature. It brought me great peace…
Appreciation for the smallest of things- be it memories or stolen moments has simply increased. It’s nice to observe and allow it to run it’s course. Who knew I would become that person ((sniff))? Ah life, you’re such a wild ride.
Pigeon Heart Ponderings 
ah – this is me but not yet in wide open world, more when I’m sat on my sofa and see something that makes me happy – someone trying hard and succeeding if you know what I mean.
Its got to the stage where my better half has the tissues ready!
She has a heart of stone!!
Ha! I love it. You rock.
This is beautiful and you’re brave to put it out there. I cry too when overwhelmed by the fantastic things around me. I would talk more about that, but I would cry now while doing so.
I am enjoying this song right now. Thanks for this post.
Oh and yes, the lightening bugs have come out “back east.” 🙂
I will catch one for you and let it go.
Aww you’re the best. It’s like your last post about our tenderness. We are very big/ full people. You know what I mean? Lots going on in us. We are lucky to be tapped in. (:
Enjoy the buggies*!!
Does Portland seem especially blissed out to you when the first few days of summery weather arrive? The change in the collective mood here when it is sunny and warm is palpable to me. Moments take on greater poignancy somehow.
for sure. we are coming out of the gray season. It’s tough!
Beautifully said Lisa. I love the deepening lines and the heart strengthened by breaking and healing that remains unafraid to sing in those wonderful moments. That’s the good stuff!
Amen.
That was one of the best opening paragraphs in the history of writing. Trust me, I know these things 🙂 Traverse is one of my favorite verbs.
Shucks. Thank you! (:
This is truly why we’re soul sister, sweet Lisa-bonita!
I too am at day 23, or 25 or….of my cycle. And though it isn’t always because of the pulls of the moon that I find myself extra physically/emotionally grateful but it makes me happy to hear what moment strikes a tear to happily trickle down the face of a beautiful, loved, and loving woman like yourself.
It’s sad but I don’t think I really know why it is that we cry. Does our brain send a signal to our tear ducts to overact due to the pending emotional swell? Do tell…
right? or is it the fine poetic line between heartbreaking beauty and heartbreaking sadness that blurs? or are light and darkness so closely linked?… I don’t know but it can get confusing!
You are beautiful, though- that’s fer sure*
can you believe i’ve never seen fireflies …nope not a single one,But i have listened to crickets on a very warm and very still night on a Greek island so i kinda know what you mean 🙂 one of the perks to getting older, the finer things in life turn out to be the simpler things.
I’ve missed reading your posts…got a bit of catching up to do 🙂
please go see them. it will rock your beautiful world. it’s really magical.
Im glad to have you back and thanks for the love (:
Thanks for sharing. It’s always good to stop, sit down, and just take it all in for a while.
On this side of the pond we call fireflies glowworms, and they are indeed wonderful creatures.
Glow worms? Aw, cute! …but they are flying so…
why not glowfies?
I completely agree, it doesn’t make any sense! But then we also have slow worms as well. They’re neither worms nor slow but canny little legless reptiles. It’s make you wonder who names these things…