Mom told me never
trust a man in a trench coat-
bunch of pervs out there
*****
Because every day
I see you outside, first thing.
Neighbor, get a life
*****
I pee way more than
the average person or
is 30 normal?
*****
My best friend’s brothers
tortured him when he was young-
hair clippings in pants
*****
What an unlucky
incarnation to be a
dung beetle. no thanks
*****
*****
I might have sex with
my iphone if there was an
app that could please me
*****
I am a poet
I know it. Don’t question me
obvs. you’re just jealous
*****
Whenever it’s hot
outside- I am so thankful
that I don’t have balls
*****
Inconvenience is
dandruff with a preference for
wearing mostly black
*****
I am not alone
in painting just the toes that
show through my peeps-shoes
*****
*****
I’d rather not go
if it means that I have to
see your stupid face
*****
You could be so cute,
so here’s a razor; a gift!
bye bye to mustache
*****
When riding bikes it
is ill advised to blow
a snot rocket up wind
*****
Little kids are cute
but made of germs and rubber
fall and sneeze often
*****
His shoes smelled like sex.
How did he do that? Had me
grossly confounded
*****
*****
A more respectful
way to say it would be “Bros
before Does!” I’m good.
*****
Mr. Face Tattoo
“upstanding citizen”
holy commitment
*****
Penny for your thoughts
I’d surely get a nickel
ignorance is bliss
*****
Feel the magic beat
Shake what your mama gave ya
don’t step on no toes!
*****
Just cause we made out
doesn’t mean I like you. Blame
it on the whiskey
*****
Pigeon Heart Ponderings 
On my blog please come
This Sunday, haikus for all
BFF let’s be.
but what of sunday
do not leave me wondering!
come on the whole thing?
(;
a new tradition
more fun than justin bieber
his hair smells funny
I keep on hearing
about this beiber fellow
sounds like a real tool
All kinds of awesome here. Very enjoyable.
Rad! Thanks and I am glad you like! It was fun to dooo
‘Bro’s before Does’! That’s excellent! 🙂 I’ve long been surprised at how acceptable that crass saying seems to have become on your side of the pond. Thankfully it doesn’t seem to have reached our UK shores (yet).
Ha, I know- we are a bunch of heathens on these shores!
How did you end up smelling someone’s shoes? Just curious. And yes be thankful you don’t have balls.
At the gym where I climb are cubbies. Some are the hight of my head, though the proximity need not be that close to smell many a stinky pair. This one dude’s kicks smelled like the deed. Like hot, sweaty, summer bump. Some how it didn’t turn me on.
how in the haail did you do that?!
hehe. I got sick and made mix tapes and haikus awwwl dzay lawng.
You’ve elevated the Haiku.
Okay, maybe moved it laterally… 😉
hehe. art fart.