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Sucky Sucky

Posted in Uncategorized, tagged , , , , , , , , , on December 1, 2011| 12 Comments »

Ah life. You are so impermanent. Your lessons so abstract albiet poignant. What are we here for but to enjoy and decipher your cryptic meanings.

Talking to a friend yesterday, she referred to life’s changes as “shiftings”, implying that it’s a steady, time-staking thing- the changes, that is; and not something to expect to see happen over night. I like to refer to these shifts as growing pains, which makes me feel like my pain is not in vain and is heading in a purposeful direction.

One of the big things my  X liked to drill into me was how you gotta know your flaws. At the drop of  a hat. Know what you’re bad at, where your short comings are, and what you stand to correct. These things should be glaring at you. It was always hard to me to give it all up like that, despite being aware of some…. Can you believe I have flaws?

Unbeknownst to him, I have been compiling a list all the while. My shit list. My very own shitty shit list of what makes me terrible and of what I suck at. Do be warned that it’s relatively topical and superficial, though a step in the right direction of accepting my ugly, unskilled, and not-so-hot-side. Perhaps even a shot at embracing them and “shifting” things a bit.

Are confessions and belittling one self a positive? I don’t know, but I feel like coming clean. Perhaps an ode to you-know-who-you-are. Hope your satisfied, guy…

Generated list of things I suck at:

I. Roman numerals. I will attempt to keep this tally numbered by using them to act and serve as exposing proof of my inability to use them. I don’t even like them, but whatever. Base ten and up are just fine by me, thank you.

II. Biting my tongue when some one has a celebrity look alike. I get excited. I’m sorry. When I told that girl that she looked like Kimmy Gibler from Full House, I meant it as a compliment. I said she looked like her, not that she acted like her! Big difference. Besides, didn’t she know? She really didn’t have to get so mad. Just sayin’. There are occasionally people that I will meet that look like the black version of or the white version of so and so. Do you ever get that?  Anyway, I do feel like I deserve some credit, because I managed to keep it inside when I met that guy who looked like Jon Lovitz. Close call. A proud moment of feigned silence.

III. Rushing in the morning. Yeah. I like my time. People that pop out of bed and run around are a different breed. I will wake up 1.5- 2 entire hours early JUST so I can have a leisurely morning. Stretch, walk the dog, make a smoothy~ all very important pieces to my peace of mind. (Plus I would be chronically late if I didn’t, and that’s not to say that I’m out of the weeds on this). ( I think being on time would be the bastard cousin of this Roman Numeral Three, perhaps even meriting a Numeral of it’s very own.)

IIII. Cutting bread. How do people get such clean and thin slices when it comes as a whole? This seems like a no brainer but seriously, how do you not squish the loaf (hot!), or cut too thin/ thick. I’m not even kidding. Is anyone capable of impressive slices? I’m over all pretty good with my hands but…

V. Snowboarding. I biff right off the lift. It’s kind of making me feel crazy because I have some decent dexterity and agility. I can dance, baby! And most of my good friends do it, so I know I can… I just can’t stand sucking so bad at something that I spend so much money to do. Sponsor me!

IV. <Right??

Spelling correctly with ei or is it ie? Damn you, English. You are so bloody inconsistent.

IIV. I’m numerically in over my head, but didn’t it impress you until what 6 should be? Why thank you!

Exercising patience. I am a relativeley typical Aries woman, only in the respect that when I get an idea in my head, that’s it. That’s what’s happening. I get super enthusiastic and must have my way. Working on it.

IIIV. Sitting still. I have reached the point to where I can’t watch a movie with out fake-shopping for shoes in another browser. Yeah, really. Poster girl for Ritalin? Ok, pay me. I am way too fidgety to have a ”movie day”. That just sounds terrible, unless of course, I was terribly ill. Even then it’s hard to slow down.

IIIIV. Staying on a date that I realize I don’t want to be on. I know- it’s fucken rude. It’s rude and I’m sorry. I might see you in hell, but at least I won’t be bored to death. I have absolutely been know to run. I have left bars when the dude has gone to the bathroom. I know, it’s really bad, but this is confession time. And I am working on patience and presence. I know, I know; everyone has something(s) valuable to share. Either way, next time I’ll make up a better excuse instead of running out, or fake leaving the bar like I did tonight.

X. (Yes? 10?)

Road rage. It’s rough because people in Portland are the very slowest turners that I have ever seen. Furthermore, they stop at intersections when they don’t have a stop sign and no pedestrians are present. Those are just the tip of the iceberg. Get a bike, dicks!

IX. Meditating. O how I wish; how it would behoove me; what benefits and gentle rewards await my arrival… My mind is a race track at any given moment. My head-horses are either in full gallop, or are trotting through fields of wild flowers. They breathe heavy and moist, pulling my attention to their pastures. This also goes back to my  inability to stay still for an extended period. It’s like meditating makes me fat. I could be out jogging! I find it very challenging to calm the chatter.

Allright, I’m thinking that’s enough exposure for one night. Now you know what makes me the pits. Don’t hold it against me!

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Lisa, Queen of Everything, Owns the Alphabet

Posted in Uncategorized, tagged , , , , , , , , , on November 2, 2011| 3 Comments »

It’s simple. Getting aquatinted with the multi-facitude of ourselves. Facitude because yes, Webster is still evolving and it is our immediate responsibility to see that they (dictionary marauders) stays on their toes. Creating new words is a healthy little pass time. And so, with out further ado, I introduce a sideways little exercise that is useable to spark the flow of our own understanding of our own selfs. Alphabetize the truth; the sweet, the dirty, the random that lies with in you….because, why not?

A. Ambition: Aspiring philanthropist. One day I will drop money from tops of buildings, but not coins, no… No one will be hurt. Stay tuned. One day, I tell you.

B. Bad habit: I have an ill weekness for brownies (B!) and it’s been 50+ days since I have been off of processed sugar (rad), but tell you what, come PMS time- I would eat your 1st born if it was dipped in chocolate. Stay away!

C. Closest Call: Did you know that you have to be careful in rivers because they too can kill you?  The Trinity river in N. California taught me a major lesson in humility. I was born part fish, being in ”Diaper Dippers” and the likes, and growing up a hop, skip, and jump away from the ocean. I had no fear of water before this day. Caught in a current, dragged and smashed agains the rocks, choking. Long story. Very scary. But I made it (:

D. Damnation: If I were called to Hell it would most likely be because the very 1st reaction that I had when a Squirrel Monkey at the local pet store in my home town was in my arms took a shit on me- was to wipe it down the poor lady next to me’s apron. But she worked there! But yeah, I did that. And I just think wiping excrement on someone else as a first reaction makes one a bad person in one way or another. Right? Or, possibly because I fake phone conversations when walking past Green Peace canvassers’, despite the fact that I truly am so grateful for what they do! * I’m sure there are worse things that I do…. to be revisited.

E. Education: Working on my Masters in Education, baby! In my second year of two. Loves it!

F. For Fun: Movement, easily. Dancing is the best thing EVER. Walking, biking, climbing, and yoga are my bffs.

G. Guilty Pleasure: Easy- I’m a sucker for a good abandoned house. I don’t want to steal anything! I just want to see. So sue me! But really, please don’t.

H. Hometown: Oceanside, N.Y. 11572. A town away from the ocean, and 28 miles East of NYC.

I. Inner Child: Alive and well, thank you. Still like to be held and when people read to me. And playing limbo and dress up.

J. Jonesing for: A 4-6 month trip out of the country. Want. Need. Ah. Beach me please.

K. Kryptonite: Idle hands. It’s an ugly descent.

L. Luck: Overall decently optimistic disposition.

M. Maybe: I carry maybe with me. Grey is a common color that I find these days. Black and white used to reign, but I attribute the appreciation for Grey (metaphorically speaking, dig?) to growing up and seeing the world from different sides.

N. Nerding out: One of my favorite things to catch is misuse of quotations. I have a collection…

O. Obsession: Collecting new music. Can’t. Get. Enough. Hungry.

P. Peace in a Strange Place: I feel safe and secure by myself at night, no matter where in the city I am if everything is covered in fresh snow.

Q. Quote: “Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.” -Lao Tzu.    “Just because it’s hard doesn’t mean it’s bad, just because it’s easy doesn’t mean it’s good.” -Me.

R. Resist: Stagnation and apathy.

S. Strangers: Have soft skin when I sit close to them on the bus and pretend I don’t know our arms are touching. Is that weird? Is that a bud of a fetish?

T. Talent: Creative thinking, art, and dancing, since forever. Always had that flow. Shucks.

U. Umbilical Chord: 4 years ago when my parents left the house I grew up in for… ahem… Texas, I realized that I was majorly attached to the home there. It was a constant, no matter where I was, how far, or how long away for. It felt much like losing a family member, but with an alien twist; You can not hug a wall good bye. My umbilical chord, then, was severed. I hadn’t even realized it had been attached until that point.

V. Vacation: South America por favor. Pronto!

W. Whisper: One of my favorite ways to hear my own name.

X. Xanax: Took a shower once after eating one. What a great shower.

Y. You: Really oughtta try this! It’s fun and flexible.

Z. Zen: I try to hold on to gratitude and recognize I have what I have asked for, good, bad, and indifferent; all teachers.

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Blossom to Fulfillment: on Positive Thoughts~

Posted in Uncategorized, tagged , , , , , , , , , on October 21, 2011| 4 Comments »

Within the seed of your desire is everything necessary for it to blossom to fulfillment. The law of attraction is the engine that does the work. Your work is just to give it a fertile growing place in order to expand.

— Abraham

A painting I made for a good friend of mine. A reminder that rewards come from efforts.

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Scraping the Surface of my N.Y.

Posted in Uncategorized, tagged , , , , , , , , , , on October 18, 2011| 12 Comments »

This makes me happy.

Sandwich anybody? Dumpling tacos? Ricey rice?

Born in the hospital across the street from Central Park, and raised between L.I., the East village, and uptown in Washington Heights, I was. The taste for travel was developed at an early age, being the daughter to two adventurous spirits. I left the East Coast long ago, but still vie for it from time to time, on an inexplicably  deep level.

What I miss is the mash up. The haphazardness of it all; along with the solid working order. Everything is atop of everything else; no body is phased. Try to surprise me, eh? What I miss is the in-your-face-ness; The dare-to-be-ness; so infused and embedded in the culture at large…

I mean, come on: "Dozens of delicious flavors and 3 shitty ones" blazed above the door. Snaaaarkyyy

Another thing that I long for that remains insatiated in me is the real, heavy, richness and diversity in culture there. Walking around a few blocks, one is guaranteed to pass a conversation where you can’t even identify the language. Ah! I miss home. I miss super authentic ethnic food from an uncharted hole-in-the-wall restaurant.

E 6th St is rife with Indian food places. If it looks famliar... you probably WEREN'T here. Haha.

Not that I claim that it is anything close to utopian, but people seem to coexist there, overall, better than where I currently reside. In Portland OR, the community is nice, considerate, environmentally aware, progressive, and many other fantastic things, but we lack genuine integration. It’s rather sad and doubly awkward. The grass is always greenerrrr. Assuming that there is grass, of course.

Five Points/ LIC

This city, which, in truth deserves a tremendous amount more of my time and attention to really do a proper entry, is so f*$%^n’ random. Anything really goes. I love it. It is nuts. I don’t know if I will ever/ could ever live there again. But my goodness, it is the best city I know.

yes, these ARE toothbrushes. You're right! Yes, they are in a special protective keeper, discarded at the foot of a tree on E. 12th. How ever did you know?!

A stop off the LIRR in Queens, this trash burned. One man tried to help(ish) by pouring a 12oz. water on it. Policeman walked on bye. It was "contained".

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If You Had to Pick a Song to Eat… What Would It Be??

Posted in Uncategorized, tagged , , , , , , , , , on October 13, 2011| 4 Comments »

<licking lipssss>

Occasionally I will come across a song that I can not get enough of. Like obsess, play over and over and over and over…

I can recall being a youngin’ and standing distractedly out  on the soccer field, when the wind would blow just right and I would instantly be transported into some Poison  music video or some thing. I would be that girl in the video; you know- the slow shot, or the still, of the object of mystery, allure, desire….

You too? Any one?

How about this: A new song comes on. It’s the 1st time you’re hearing it and you think- “Ah! That was almost mine!” Eh? Eh? Admittedly, this is no longer a common occurance, though I can easily recall a vast amount of times where it was, in my youth.

Does the fruit tree of cosmic energy and creativity hang lower with heavy, fruit laden branches to us as children? The “idea tree” if you will, that grows in the ethers, producing thoughts available to the first person to notice, to put effort forth, or to simply just pull it down/ out?

Like I mentioned, it has been a while since the phenomenon of recognizing a song narrowly mine, missed just by a margin, has been plucked by another… Then I heard the song above a few years back, felt that old, familiar tinge, and danced along like it was written just for me.

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Weekly Photo Challenge: Comfort

Posted in Uncategorized, tagged , , , , , , , , , on October 7, 2011| 16 Comments »

It is the Ocean that gives me strength and a sense of peace. I could never live too far from it or I might wither up into a sad little raisin. It is a place of mystery, awe, and wonder. It can be cruel and unforgiving; this I know, yet still it is a constant for me in returning home. It’s my coziest place.

It was a stormy, bleary day. The rain fell vertical. Our ponchos were plastered to us. We had the beach to ourselves for miles. It was invigorating and we felt so free. We had stopped and got some crappy pizza in a whole in the wall spot. Being New Yorkers, we are big time pizza snobs, but ate a bit as we walked along the shore, until I threw a piece into the air. Like magic, the seagulls came out of nowhere and followed us, catching pieces of dough in their mouths with each toss. I would estimate a flock of 20 something that followed.  It was magnificent!

My dog was going nuts about it. It really was an absolute blast.

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Know Your Hero

Posted in Uncategorized, tagged , , , , , , , , , on October 6, 2011| 4 Comments »

Definition of HERO

1
a : a mythological or legendary figure often of divine descent endowed with great strength or abilityb : an illustrious warriorc : a man admired for his achievements and noble qualitiesd : one who shows great courage
2
a : the principal character in a literary or dramatic workb : the central figure in an event, period, or movement
3
plural usually he·ros : submarine 2
4
: an object of extreme admiration and devotion : idol
       Ask a modern kid who there hero is. It’s probably no surprise that  the majority of the time the response will be full of celebrities and sports players… Curses. Sometimes someone on their list might make the cut that’s worthy of hero/ heroine status; albiet dead. Obviously this is a reflection of our value placements in our flashy, splashy, frenetic, bigger-is-better, faster, technologically-infused society. But wait! Fear not, as this isn’t a rant on our scopes or sad states of affair… Hold tight.
       Every now and again I like to step back and take inventory of my interests, priorities, actions, and what/ who I appreciate. Knowing too much celebrity gossip, or really any for that matter, has always just freaked me out. I think this stems partially from a deep seeded fear that the info would take up valuable space in my brain. The other part being that I really just don’t give a rat’s ass. It’s just kind of creepy. I never got the fascination with ‘People’ mag, or any of that kind of thing… Different strokes… Keeping abreast of politics is an absolute priority, despite the fact that it generally tightens each and every one of my muscles, as the daily stresses of world events settle in. Man, there is some heavy sh#t going on!
       It is my intention in this post, to draw upon the quite, ever present, ever acting champions. The people, places, and things that lend us inspiration and encouragement, just by virtue of being. These are beings who exist, embedded in the very fabric of our lives, as if to sway gently, steadily, and with constance in the background, yet provide a critical placement that is key in the peace that we do feel.
 And so, my heroes…  are comprised of the little old ladies with practiced, yet natural poise, who carry huge, heavy baskets on their heads, walk for miles, and can laugh with out spilling a drop.
People who have a cause and are rebels who do not lose sight of the grand picture, and remain steady and as light hearted as possible, and bring ease to those around them; effortlessly.
Living, breathing artists who are aware of their God/ Goddess given gifts and do not keep there talents pent up, but share, inspire, create, and spread the colors of their imaginations all over the cities and onto the children, encouraging them and pushing them to do great things.
People who are brave enough to pick up a beat and make it come alive, and/ or who play an instrument and speak the language of love with it, bridging cross cultural gaps. 
The beauty, resilience, and tenacity of every flower, weed, lichen cluster, and blade of grass that bores it’s seed or spore into the side of buildings, cracks of sidewalks, breaks in pavements, whispering softly the song of reclamation.
The      humble gardener with the itty bitty plot who gently and wisely tend their crop, planting flora in the name of healthy eating, good living, sharing the abundance, and beautifying the area to make passer byes happy and meet friends.
The ones who let there freak flag fly (say it 5x fast!) and dare to be. And do this just cause why not. 

Motivated individuals who are driven enough to start up companies that do not compromise their morals, that support free and fair trade, a livable wage, and respect to the people and the land.

I will likely have to come back to this and add. Regularly. A roaming tally.

Feel free to add as well… Who are your heroes???

     “The only people for me are the mad ones. The ones who are mad to love, mad to talk, mad to be saved; the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow Roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars.”
-Jack Kerouac 

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This I Believe~

Posted in Uncategorized, tagged , , , , , , , on October 2, 2011| 9 Comments »

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Ugly is the New Cute

Posted in Uncategorized, tagged , , , , , , , , on September 27, 2011| 15 Comments »

The first time that I ever saw a Pug in my life remains to me a very clear memory. I was over a good girlfriend’s house in high school, in come her mum with this squat, black, snorty thing. Never had I seen anything like it. Certain that it was a hybrid between a common housefly, a dog, and possibly a raisin; I couldn’t believe my eyes. Not that I have, or intend on doing the research, and I have no idea/ particular care what it’s lineage is. What does interest me is how breeds in general come into existence. Now, Im no semen scientist, not a regular old person with a natural knack for gynecology, no anthropologist… none of the fields that would inform me as to if breeding has happened between extremely different species. However, as an innocent (ignorant?) bystandard, I would give an emphatic ‘Yes!’; there has been a lot of ‘co-mingling’ and partying between animals.

At the (best) dog park (ever) the other day (shout out to Fernhill!), I came up on a small dog that kinda rocked my world. He was fidgety, so it was pretty challenging to get a fair picture of him with my 5 & dime phone camera. I did manage to get a decently hot head shot of this little beast to show you, and a pretty flattering picture at that. Doesn’t he look rather noble?

Introducing~ Fibinacci. <Name has been misspelled to protect identity.>

I found that I was unable to speak in my normal voice around this dog- thing. Why? It kept involuntarily raising a good 4 octives and I’de find myself talking in what would best be described as a penguin’s voice, if I had to choose. I know; ”Creative”. But I’m serious!

He had very soft, white hair atop of his head, where on his back he had thick, coarse hair- Sheep hair! He had a cowboy walk. I would say that his lineage was intersected and smashed together with a dog, a sheep, a light brown ant, and a sentient football. But that’s just my guess.

Either way- the jury was out, and interestingly enough, no one seemed able to pass him with out eliciting some sort of extreme response. Some exclaimed on how cute, others on how hideous, strange, funny looking…

All in all I am forever grateful for the mutts, and will love them even if some bat, spider and eel snuck in there.

Moral of the story? Beauty truly is in the eye of the beholder.

purchase through etsy, just click on image!

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Todo es Bueno!

Posted in Uncategorized, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 22, 2011| 8 Comments »

Here. It’s a gift. For your gut, and your brain ,and the memory part of your brain, which is a different part of the brain than I was originally referring to. Do watch- I guarantee happiness. Or your money back.

This lil’ video is one of my favorite comedians helping us to remember how good we have it. Holy shit we are blessed. It’s just easy to forget when we have it all over the place.

This is the major foundation for my… Theory of Abundance… A theory that I have developed that is based on both observation and direct experience; that we take for granted what we have in our lives when we have it too much or too often. It’s the classic wanting what you can’t have until you get it, orrr at least it’s bastard cousin. It’s in the same family also, of the grass is always greener. Don’t worry, you’ll smell what I’m cooking soon enough.

In support of this, I present you with my very favorite example: the Pigeon. Yes, obviously I have a thing for them (always have). Maybe you were curious as to why? And so here it goes. The pigeon, ladies and gents, is one of the top most resilient creatures. What other birds do you see during all seasons? What other creatures that we live in symbiosis with are totally independent and resourceful to boot? They can survive nearly anywhere in an urban setting, which is not some thing that most birds can claim. They will eat what they can find, be it bugs or garbage. They are opportunists. They can casually exist in harmony with the passers’-bye. Yes, they are known as ‘rats of the sky’, but mind you, they will not infest a home, nor are we in danger of transmitted diseases from them. They are also quite beautiful. All iridescent and sh*t. I like to think of them as soiled doves. And everyone has a soft spot for doves. The bird bearing the olive branch of peace was also a white pigeon, err, dove. Right. Dear reader, they are the last of urban wild life. We take them for granted because they are every where. Now, in Australia, kangaroos are invasive pests. They view their kangaroos in a similar light that we do with pigeons. Is it because they are used to their presence? Would you mind terribly seeing a kangaroo hop by your abode tomorrow? I think not! You see? We are a bit spoiled and must remember to give thanks for all we have. End of pigeon defense. In conclusion, let us take note of the abundance and rejoice! And be kind to pigeons (:

Click to purchase on Etsy*

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