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Posts Tagged ‘health’

When it comes to being sick I must admit it; I’m just no good.

I picture that some people are good at being sick. What that looks like in my mind is someone who doesn’t mind lazing around. Slinking. Slothing. They are happy and content to sloop and watch- oh, I don’t know- soaps? Nature channel? Documentaries? Glee? Oprah? Ya got me, I don’t know. That’s because I’m no good.

Luckily it doesn’t happen all that often, with the acception of course of that long year when I worked in a K-2 special ed class. Hellooo petri dish. That was the pits. This one kid in particular- the Germ House. He should have won a prize or something. Man. I caught the stomach bugs from him, ear stuff, sore anything possible… All the way up to the last two weeks of school before summer, I remember recovering from a throat infection and saying to my man at the time, “Uh! Well, at least that is over with. There’s only one week left. I got this. Nothing else can touch me now. I’m in the clear.” Two days after this declaration pink eye appeared in my right eye. I vividly recall the fear I felt, knowing that all that stood guard between eyes was the bridge of my nose. My nose is not dainty, but by God the bridge is certainly not sizable for defense. By the end of that week I had pink eye in both eyes. He got me good, that kid. Made me sicker than dirt. All the time. Like chemy, beige, depleted dirt where no invasive weeds even grow or something. That was 3 years ago. I haven’t got ill apart from that year from health-hell for a while.

And so now, at the return of the school year, guess who’s a sneeze n’ drip factory. This girl. It is an odd and uncomfortable thing to be sick on the 2nd and 3rd day of work. My ego is running laps and doing jumping jacks trying to be resilient and not be crushed. Who wants the boss to think they are a weeny? Or a crier? Yick.

I actually went in today and much like a plague victim would be treated, they took one look at me and told me to get outta there. So I did, semi excitedly because I’m not feeling up for it, but also crummy because I really want to be there. Plus, like I said, I’m not very good at just lamping around and doing a whole lotta nothing. At least not off the beach or off vacation or in the states for that matter.

So now I virtually have a snow day. It’s the same feeling, but just with the sick counter part. And so I have compiled a list of what I will do today that demands little to no energy.

1. Make CDs for friend’s going away party (tonight (ahem))

2. Go to Ross and get cheap sheets to cover back of car to protect from shedding dog

3. Car wash

4. Tea and tea and tea and pee x3+3

5. Sell books to Powells and get a new one to read… ON THE COUCH. That’s right- I’m capable

6. Nap? Ha.

7. Wash sheets because tomorrow is health-only-acceptable day and new sheets will be lovely and not germy

8. Get more tissues (possibly earlier on the list)

9. Drink more potions of lizard tales, bat wings, ant balls, grapefruit seed extract and what the hell

10. Write a surplus of stories so that I don’t have to have month lapses on this here blog

So now,  a question: Is the purpose of rest supposed to include the head or do you think it’s ok to have a lot of mental activity going on during down time? This is day two of me supposed to be sitting on my keester. Wack. Who out there has this sick biz dialed? What do you do? Tips please.

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Here lies a formal request for a bit more of your attention in perusing the proceeding words than that of the ones that I normally post.

This is an interactive one, kids; reading far more effectively if you would please affix a fair and cheeky British accent to it, and at about the half way point, take on the cadence and musical accompanyment of the lullaby: “Hush Little Baby”…

Well! What do you know!? I just looked it up to make certain that the name was correct, and not say, called “Mockingbird” and guess what- it is British too!

We are smoking!

Ok, and I will let you know when the melody kicks in, so have no anxiety.

The background here is that this stems from an ongoing debate that I have been privy to a few times concerning “average and normal” people taking anti-depressant medication to “be even happier”. Yes, this is on the table now. The implications are rather tremendous, as it holds thought processing (and emotional, spiritual, intellectual, life experience… growth) in the balance. It’s a popular discussion.

When happy is just not good enough… I thought of it as what follows~

(((accent begins now)))

Life is like holiday with cosmetic neurology-

Where everything good just got BETTER.

When you look at ya’ mug and your face is just snug, rest assured- you’re no longer a fretter.

You say you are fine; no nagging complaints, or major frights.

But you’re human and bound to get nervous.

So riddle me this and you’ll owe me a kiss as for you do I ever have a service!

Now what would you say, aside from that I made your day, if I told you that you might never loose your smile?

Could you ever believe that sheer bliss could be achieved, by yours truly if you’d listen short while?

Well I’ll bring the news that comes in capsules and tubes, while you put these in your mouth and say bye bye to the blues…

<< begin lullabye tune now (moderate amount of pep)>>

Say so long to the wayward ups and downs.

Farewell to the questions that ran you around.

Be gone with the wonder and daily stresses of life.

Am I enticing and tickling your fancy allright??

So let’s say the perma-grin that your working towards,

starts to crack the skin- it’s not much of a chore.

There’s no need to fret over a tiny few wrinkles.

Don’t like what you see? Here- just take these pink pills.

Now we’re hopped up on meds and it swimmies our heads, but we’re happier now then anyone ever named Fred.

It’s ok if your voice sounds pinched a couple of octaves,

or you have a sinking sensation,

or feel trapped in a cockpit.

The side affects are nil and the benefits gargantuan,

For ever so happy, who needs thoughts to think upon?

Blindly trust in the pharma-biz, and trust in your doc.

Have faith in big business; replenish your stock.

No more regular worries’- you’re not a plebe.

And don’t listen when the poor folks say your soul has been thieved.

This is nearly as natural as God had intended~

why else would we provide

a way that your enbended introspection’s been untied??

My case has been stated and your comfortably convinced~~~

that being just ok in these days is actually the pits.

So be a good lass and an upstanding gent.

Pop this pill and lets all get crazy bent.

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